Hi. I’m dSavannah. A comment from a new reader made me realize that I can’t assume (you know what happens to you and me when we do that!) that visitors know my theme or purpose for completing the #AtoZChallenge. So, if you are a new visitor to my blog, my theme this year for the challenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me.
… letting go & lessons
I am combining these topics because they are so intertwined. (An aside, my hands are being so hurty and stupid today. I can’t type. And my perfectionism won’t let me leave typos, not even for the WordPress spell checker to catch. {Funny – it says WordPress is spelled wrong! Never mind. It was me. It wants the P in Press to be capitalized. My bad.} So this post may be short and sweet. Which is probably a welcome change, coming from me. There’s a reason my blog is called dSavannah Rambles.)
Okay, so lessons. These of course apply to anyone, not just those who fight #InvisibleIllnesses.
Letting go is of course in itself a HUGE lesson. We all tend to hang on to things, hurts, etc. Things that we need to let go of include, but are not limited to:
- FEAR. Ohmygiddypajamas. I used to be more fearless, but as I’ve gotten older, and sicker, I’ve gotten more anxious and afraid. I used to drive *by myself* from West Palm Beach, FL (high school) to Rome, GA (college) without a care in the world. I even went to college by my lonesome. Didn’t know a single soul when I got there. Didn’t matter.
Look at little college freshman me! How happy I was! How tan! (from my student I.D.)
Now I can barely drive myself more than five miles away without having a panic attack.
There’s also fear of failure, of more loss, of rejection, of snakes (just kidding; I’m not afraid of snakes. In fact, my college boyfriend and his roommates had snakes as pets. We didn’t have TV. We had snake-a-vision.).
Fear is actually what fuels anxiety. Knowing this helps. Some.
- Anger. Of course, being mad about something has its place in our lives. It’s when we hold on to it that we get in trouble.
Oh! Oh! Oh! This reminds me of a beautiful song by my very favorite musician, Griffin House. Seriously. I have met a ton of celebrities, and he is really the only one (except for Cary Elwes) who I totally fan-girled over. Like, I totally couldn’t speak when I met John. (That’s the musician’s first name.)
But the message of this song is so perfect: you gotta go through some things. Even if it hurts.
- And our last lesson that I will impart today that has to do with letting go (gimme a second; I’ll get there): I am a giver. I always have been. If I see someone struggling with something, or doing something that isn’t quite correct, I want to help them. I share my expertise.
And what I am trying to beat into my very thin skull is that not everyone wants to learn or change or gives a crap what anyone else thinks. They might like their poorly worded whatever just fine. They might be very happy with the logo or flyer or whatever that looks like their dog designed it.
I have to learn: people don’t want help. Or opinions. Or ideas. They want to go on with their own way. And I need to let them. And save my efforts for those who ask for my help and expertise.
I have to let go of my need to be right.
And learn it’s my problem, not theirs’.
So, my friends and lovely readers, that is it for today. My wrists are REALLY aching. (If my headache says “rain” or “weather”, what does my wrists ache mean? Apocalypse?)
So many lessons that we all need to learn – mine is that no matter how often I cry on my husband he is not going to get sick of me. My fears are around really irrational things (and snakes, I really don’t like snakes) like going to the post office – it’s one of my things that for some reason since I became unwell has become a mammoth thing.
Love your blog and so glad I found it.
Pamela
Oh boy. I have that “my husband is going to get sick of me and my shit and leave me” fear really bad. Even tho it’s based on absolutely nothing. Does he get frustrated with my illnesses? Yes. Does he wish they would go away? Yes. Does he support me and let me cry and hug me and take me to doctors and listen and help me remember all my issues? Yes. My fear is completely irrational and I’m trying to let it go!
Most people don’t like snakes. It’s not like I’m a big fan, but they don’t bother me. Giant palmetto bugs? They make me scream for hubs to come kill them, kill them now. (If you don’t know what a palmetto bug is, just imagine a very large roach. That flies. BLECH to the max.)
I understand not wanting to go the PO. It’s noisy, it’s crowded, there’s usually two clerks, and a host of idiots who don’t seem to understand the concept of how to mail something. I too avoid it unless absolutely necessary. I have a scale at home, and a bunch of stamps, so in most cases I weigh and stamp myself and stick in the mailbox. It’s that 13 oz rule that gets me. So, 13.1 oz could be a bomb, but 12.9 isn’t? Crazy stuff.
Thank you again for stopping by. I’ve got your blog bookmarked and I promise I’ll come read it when I’m so behind on my own posts. xox
Hi dSavannah!
Visit my blog to see what you’ve won! 🙂
Have a lovely weekend!
Writer In Transit
I won! I’m a *WINNER*! *does happy dance!*
Letting go is damned difficult. But you’re right, there are times when we really just must.
@mirymom1 from
Balancing Act
Indeed. and Indeed.
I will try this again. I have tried this three times previously. Hope it works this time.
Learning to let go and lessons is one of those difficult things in life. Thankfully, I do not feel I have any anger that is stored up. Fear on the other hand is entirely different. I am fearful of finding a new job, being in crowded places, being in hurricanes, etc. Why these fears are worse as I age is just strange to me.
Thanks for another great blog.
Wahoo! It worked this time. 🙂
Three thumbs up!
I wonder why you’re having trouble posting! Annoying!
And yeah, my fears have gotten worse too. Ugh.