{"id":654,"date":"2012-09-26T01:47:21","date_gmt":"2012-09-26T01:47:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/?p=654"},"modified":"2012-09-26T01:47:21","modified_gmt":"2012-09-26T01:47:21","slug":"shining-the-light-on-dark-places-rape-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/index.php\/shining-the-light-on-dark-places-rape-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Shining the Light on Dark Places: Rape, What To Do"},"content":{"rendered":"

So, lots of people have been raped. But what can we do about it? How can we stop this epidemic of abuse against women, and also men, and children?<\/p>\n

Here are Mhairi Simpson\u2019s<\/a> ideas about it, a follow up to her post Thoughts on rape, seven years later<\/a>. In it, she says we need to include men in the discussion. She also says \u201cThey need to understand that women just want to be able to go about their daily lives in peace, without worrying if the next guy that gets in their face on some pathetic pretext will be the one who takes it further.\u201d And she\u2019s absolutely right.<\/p>\n

My thoughts: first, we need to actually talk about it.<\/strong> We need to say that it happens. We need open and frank discussion on the topic. Only be doing this can we remove the stigma of rape.<\/p>\n

Rape needs to be on the news. You know why it\u2019s not, unless it\u2019s a serial rapist? Because it\u2019s so commonplace that it\u2019s not considered \u201cnewsworthy\u201d. And, so many victims are ashamed and feel like they can\u2019t talk about it. Or that the perpetrator will harm them if they say anything. Or that they won\u2019t be believed, by the authorities or anyone else.<\/p>\n

For instance, a friend of mine said her rapist was a preacher\u2019s son. And that she\u2019d been drinking. So, she figured no one would believe her. That she\u2019d been asking for it. Meanwhile, that guy is probably still out there, committing crimes against women.<\/p>\n

Second, we need to be educated, all of us<\/strong>. We must teach our sons and our daughters about sex and sexual activity and what\u2019s acceptable and what\u2019s not. And that a rapist isn\u2019t necessarily the creepy dude you see on the corner. It can be a neighbor, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, someone in your church or at work.<\/p>\n

We should teach our sons that it\u2019s flat-out WRONG to force themselves on someone, in any way, and that even if a girl is drunk or high or otherwise incapacitated, it\u2019s not an invitation. That any form of harassment is wrong. To respect women and each other.<\/p>\n

As my friend Krista commented: \u201cTo quote Mary Pipher, the author of Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls<\/em><\/a>, \u2018There is something eerie about teaching our daughters to fight off rapists and kidnappers. We need classes that teach men not to rape and hurt women.\u2019 I also add \u2018and children\u2019 to that quote.\u201d<\/p>\n

We should teach our daughters to speak up and say no, and how to protect themselves. If nothing else, to carry mace and not be afraid to use it. And that if something does happen, it\u2019s not their fault.<\/p>\n

Our daughters need to be confident in themselves and not feel like they have to have sex just to be loved or desired or wanted or popular. (That was my problem as a high-schooler. I had no confidence and no idea how to take care of myself, and just wanted to be accepted and loved. Plus, my sex education had consisted of a pamphlet, and nothing else.)<\/p>\n

We should teach our sons and our daughters to speak up if it happens to them, regardless of what the rapist told them, or their status in the community, or possible repercussions.<\/p>\n

We need to speak out if we see something happening\u2026 and not expect someone else to do something. Even if it\u2019s simple harassment, or name-calling. Standing by idly means we\u2019re just as culpable.<\/p>\n

Third, we need to support organizations that help rape victims<\/strong>. Most of those nonprofits are understaffed and underfunded. If you can\u2019t give money, volunteer, in whatever capacity you can. Here in my corner of Arkansas, there\u2019s the Ozark Rape Crisis Center<\/a>. Nationally, there\u2019s the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network<\/a>, which has links to local crisis centers.<\/p>\n

Watch Searching for Angela Shelton<\/em><\/a>. Filmmaker Angela Shelton set out on a journey to meet every other Angela Shelton in America. What she discovered was that 24 out of 40 Angela Sheltons she spoke to had been raped, beaten or molested just like she was. The site and movie is an homage to courage, and speaking out. You can purchase the movie on Amazon<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Help get the word that rape is not acceptable. If you learn a friend ~ or even a passing acquaintance ~ has been raped, just listen. Be there for them. Send them a card that says \u2018I\u2019m thinking of you\u2019. Don\u2019t judge them. Don\u2019t secretly think \u2018they must have caused it to happen\u2019. And never ever<\/em> say such a thing, to anyone.<\/p>\n

Every single one of us need to say NO<\/strong> to rape. And shine the light of truth on it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, lots of people have been raped. But what can we do about it? How can we stop this epidemic of abuse against women, and also men, and children? 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