{"id":4705,"date":"2016-04-09T03:03:23","date_gmt":"2016-04-09T07:03:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/?p=4705"},"modified":"2016-04-09T15:04:34","modified_gmt":"2016-04-09T19:04:34","slug":"2016-h-is-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/index.php\/2016-h-is-for\/","title":{"rendered":"#dSavannahDefects – H is for…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"H\"dSavannah note<\/strong><\/span>: I actually wrote this post some months<\/em> ago but never published it (for no apparent reason), and found it when preparing for the #AtoZChallenge. Thought it was appropriate for my theme. Also, ironically (or is it coincidentally? or both?) I have a whopper of a headache today as I finish this up and publish it.<\/p>\n

One of the wonderful things about me (that’s sarcasm,<\/em> by the way) is that I’m a little barometer. If there’s a storm front coming in, I get a headache, and those often turn into migraines (which I’ll write about for M<\/b><\/span>.) (And no idea why I’ve got this particular headache. The radar doesn’t show anything suspicious…)<\/p>\n

I also want to point out that I do know that not everything can be solved with positive thinking, but it does help. So, without further blethering, here’s my H<\/b><\/span>:<\/p>\n

… It\u2019s all in your head.<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Now, before some of you try to burn me at the stake, and\/or demand I hand in my #InvisibleIllness Club Card, let me explain. (I\u2019m not giving back the decoder ring. Sorry.)<\/p>\n

Unless you are an alien or have some sort of deformity that I haven\u2019t heard of (and that I\u2019m quite frankly afraid to google), your head is where your BRAIN<\/strong><\/span> is located. And your BRAIN<\/strong><\/span>, my friends, is truly where all the action in your body happens \u2013 pain, feelings, etc.<\/p>\n

So that means: it IS actually all in your head!<\/b><\/span> Despite the naysayers and non-ill and non-empathetic people using it as a way of dismissing what you are going through, they are correct.<\/p>\n

But if anyone, and I mean anyone<\/em>, tries to say it to you in a mean or derogatory manner, tell them, \u201cWhy, yes, yes, it is in my head. Thank you for your knowledge of the subject.\u201d And smile sweetly at them. And then kick them in the shins for being a jerk. And maybe punch them in the face for good measure. So they’ll have pain in their<\/em> head too.<\/p>\n

See, science says that we don\u2019t actually have pain in, say, our knees. Or our (my) torn shoulder. The nerves<\/em> in those places send a signal to the brain to say \u201cyou have done something to your knee\/shoulder and please see about fixing it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"brain\"

Look at the big brain on Deb! Seriously, my brain is HUGE. Or my head is small. And yeah, that’s a mouth full of metal, right there. (Thanks, acid reflux!) (And is my nose really that big?!?!)<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

An aside: a true deformity is kids who are born without the nerves that allow them to feel pain. Can you imagine a kid who doesn’t feel pain going over to the stove and touching a pan of boiling water, or worse sticking their hand in it? If the nerves don\u2019t signal the brain \u201cowie ow ow ouchie\u201d, the kid will probably have a terrible burn, but not know that it\u2019s a bad thing.<\/p>\n

And what if their mom and dad for some {highly unlikely} reason don\u2019t notice the burn, and then the burn gets infected and oozing\u2026 and all the while the kid has no idea it\u2019s happening and that it\u2019s bad because they don\u2019t get that pain signal in their brain to indicate something is wrong.<\/p>\n

Like the migraine\/tornado\/excruciating pain I was feeling in my lower back on a daily basis, but that has mostly subsided. I knew\/know my body was attempting to tell me something, but I didn\u2019t know what! (And by the way, that nightmare got mostly solved when my pain doctor did a lumbar medial branch block procedure<\/a> {read: steroid shots, right in the spine}, tho once I had the MBB, everything else in my body started *really* screaming.) (And turns out the pain was caused by a super-duper fun combo of spine stuff that I’ll write about for S<\/b><\/span>. I’m sure you can’t hardly wait.)<\/p>\n

Now, I cannot personally speak to all mental illness types (depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders being the most common<\/span>), except to tell you that they are generally caused by some sort of chemical imbalance in the brain.<\/p>\n

I can speak to my very own mental illnesses, specifically anxiety<\/b><\/span> and depression<\/b><\/span>. (I also have PTSD, mild OCD, and get panic attacks.)<\/p>\n

In my experience, anxiety is basically all the neurons in my brain firing at once. It\u2019s my brain burbling on and on about stuff I need to do, stuff I want to write, stuff I can\u2019t do, doctor\u2019s appointments, what if I never get well, what if I can\u2019t get over my anger, what if I never get to sleep, etc. etc. etc. (Fun times.)<\/p>\n

\"if-you-could-remember\"(Like this blog post is being written after getting oh, maybe three hours of sleep \u2026 thanks to the anxieteez \u2026 and being up all day and working and not getting a nap, but then something in my brain clicked as I was trying to go to sleep and all these words started tumbling out.)<\/p>\n

Depression is the neurons in my brain being slowed down, weighed down with the, erm, weight of what I am dealing with\u2026 i.e. my exceedingly long list of physical ailments. And of course that list can cause my anxiety to go into overdrive.<\/p>\n

And THEN, in even more fun-times city, the depression and lack of sleep and anxiety can cause your body\u2019s immunity to be suppressed and it makes you even more ill!<\/p>\n

So, I was reminded of this very good lesson by Neely Woods Hunter at Balance\u00a0Wellness\u00a0Studio<\/span><\/a>, my wonderful bodyworker on the coast of Georgia: we can\u2019t control the pain we feel, regardless of type.<\/p>\n

And this goes for everything in life. We can\u2019t control a crappy boss or a mean barista or a rude reviewer. And again, this pain\/irritation \u2013 physical and<\/em> mental \u2013 is very real. But what we CAN control is how we react to it. We can acknowledge it, and move on. (I know, it\u2019s not as easy to do as it is to write, but it IS doable.)<\/p>\n

As she suggested to me, you tell that pain in your<\/span> my shoulder: \u2018thank you for telling me you\u2019re hurting. Thank you for letting me know that I shouldn\u2019t sleep on that side. I receive the message, and I release it.\u2019<\/p>\n

Same with the anxiety: \u2018thank you for reminding me that I need to complete X, Y, Z, A, T, M & L tomorrow.\u2019 (I typically get up and write down a list, and that helps calm the savage head a bit.) \u2018I appreciate it, but I release you. I have done what I can do today, and I will do what I can do tomorrow, and if I get Y, A, & L done tomorrow, I will celebrate it. And hooray that I got K done today! Yay me!\u2019<\/p>\n

Being ill is a full-time job. And maybe you won\u2019t get well. And maybe I won\u2019t get well. And I know that there will definitely be many more times when I\u2019m lying on the floor of my studio in the middle of the night crying<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But as long as I eventually get up, and brush myself off, and thank the crying jag for the release of whatever pain I was holding in, and thank the universe and the goddess and the angels and the baby Jesus that I can<\/em> feel, I can get up and write another day.<\/p>\n

And so can you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

dSavannah note: I actually wrote this post some months ago but never published it (for no apparent reason), and found it when preparing for the #AtoZChallenge. Thought it was appropriate for my theme. 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