{"id":4693,"date":"2016-04-04T08:06:01","date_gmt":"2016-04-04T12:06:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/?p=4693"},"modified":"2016-04-04T20:06:19","modified_gmt":"2016-04-05T00:06:19","slug":"2016-c-is-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/index.php\/2016-c-is-for\/","title":{"rendered":"#dSavannahDefects – C is for…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"C\" … child abuse
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April is Child Abuse Prevention Month<\/strong><\/a>, and I am a child abuse survivor, so it’s only fitting I include this topic in my theme of dSavannah Defects<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

You may think that child abuse doesn’t happen any more, but it does. Often. All the time.<\/p>\n

And you may think that child abuse is perpetrated by strangers. But it’s not. More often than not, children are abused by people they know well: family members, neighbors, church friends. It can range from neglect to beatings to verbal abuse to sexual assault. And no matter its “type”, it is devastating and hurtful and causes long-term problems.<\/p>\n

Goddess, but this is difficult to write about.<\/p>\n

Child abuse is often perpetrated by victims. It cycles through generations. I personally chose to end the cycle of child abuse by not having children. Others break it by consciously deciding NOT to be a child abuser.<\/p>\n

Interestingly enough, the first Federal Legislation covering child abuse didn’t go on the books until 1974 (when I was three). The CAPTA act (Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act) provides minimum standards for child maltreatment definitions.<\/p>\n

Did I mention this was difficult to write about? I’m trying to read through the information on the official site<\/a>, and it all rings hollow to me. My throat is closing up, and my eyes are watering. But because I vowed to Shine a Light into the Dark Places, here I am.<\/p>\n

My father was abused as a child, and he then went on to abuse his own family. We walked on eggshells around him, never knowing when he might explode into rage. Or beat us. Or break things. Or bring us presents. Or scream and yell.<\/p>\n

\"Baby

Baby dSavannah being held by my dad. Clearly, he was in love with me.<\/p><\/div>\n

He told me he never wanted me. Yeah, that has stuck with me, even through years of therapy and work and photos that PROVE he wanted me.<\/p>\n

I often felt like nothing I did was good enough, which manifests now in the drive to be perfect<\/em>, which is NOT attainable, especially not with all my illnesses.<\/p>\n

I tried to be invisible, and sometimes succeeded. This manifests in my life now – if there’s a problem, or I feel like I’m being attacked in any way<\/em>, I shut down. I can’t process, or communicate.<\/p>\n

We didn’t know it, not until much later, but my dad has bipolar disease. (So did his brother. So did their dad. So do some cousins.) (Being diagnosed with “just” depression, anxiety, and PTSD was like a gift. A wonderful gift. That I didn’t have the horrible disease that my father suffered, then inflicted on his family.)<\/p>\n

But we also weren’t allowed to speak about what was going on at home.<\/p>\n

So, now I’m speaking. I’m speaking, best I can, my truth. Even tho the telling hurts.<\/p>\n

For tips and more information about child abuse, please click the button:<\/p>\n

\"National<\/a><\/p>\n

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… coping<\/strong><\/h2>\n

It is tough, really really<\/em> tough, to have all kinds of health problems, both physical and mental. If you have them, you also have to develop coping strategies<\/b><\/span>.<\/p>\n

Obviously, everyone copes with stress or illness in different ways. And there is no ‘one size fits all’ in terms of coping. For some, meditation and deep breathing can do wonders. For me and a couple friends, those actually ramp up our anxiety, because they are triggers to past, traumatic events in our lives.<\/p>\n

Here are five coping strategies that help me, and may be of use to you as well:<\/p>\n