{"id":3795,"date":"2015-04-02T13:49:29","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T17:49:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/?p=3795"},"modified":"2015-04-02T13:49:29","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T17:49:29","slug":"2015-b-is-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dsavannah.com\/blog\/index.php\/2015-b-is-for\/","title":{"rendered":"B is for…"},"content":{"rendered":"

…Babies<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\"B\"I figured if I wrote about adults yesterday, today I should write about babies, the other end of the age spectrum. (But thanks, Brandi<\/a>, for the lovely list of other B topics I could have written about.)<\/p>\n

Babies are ooey, gooey, pooping, peeing, eating miracles. And they have no worries, no responsibilities. Hungry? They cry. Just peed their diaper? They cry. Something amuses their little baby brains? They coo or giggle. Something catches their eyes? They go after it and bat at it with their fat little hands. And someone is always always<\/em> watching out for them, making sure they have clean nappies and food (or drink) and that they have soft toys to snuggle up against and nice clothes to throw up on and things to fling about and most importantly that they don’t go wandering off into traffic or stick their fingers in a light socket or drown in a toilet.<\/p>\n

Not to mention the ooohs and aaahs if they’re being a particularly sweet baby whilst out and about with mum and dad – mum and dad get nary a glance, but baby gets petted on and told how pretty\/handsome\/darling\/delightful they are. Mum and dad most certainly don’t get that kind of treatment, and if a stranger came up and started saying similar, that stranger would probably end up in a jail cell.<\/p>\n

I mean, seriously, being a baby is da<\/strong> bombdiggity! <\/strong><\/p>\n

\"New<\/a>

New baby me. See? Not a care in the world. Except perhaps wondering why I’m behind bars at such a tender age.<\/p><\/div>\n

And don’t you sometimes wish you could go back to that simpler time? I know I do.<\/p>\n

The store doesn’t have your favorite brand of chocolate in stock? Start screaming at the top of your lungs, throw in a few good arm and leg flails for good measure, and someone will come along and hug you and pat your back and distract you with a colored lolly. Not feeling so hot? Just vomit, wherever you are, on whatever you want, and someone will come along and clean you up, and probably hug you and pat your back and put you in something nice and clean and cozy. Can’t find clothes that fit? Grab all the pants and shirts and skirts off the rack and drag them all over the floor. In this case, there might be a wee bit of cursing, hopefully under the someone’s breath, but still… it’ll all get taken care of, with absolutely no effort on your part.<\/p>\n

When you have a birthday these days, it’s frowned upon if you smear the cake all over yourself, and the gifts just aren’t quite as fun. I mean, really, in your heart of hearts, wouldn’t you rather have Legos and some Hot Wheels and a Barbie doll than a gift certificate to Home Depot?<\/p>\n

Like I said yesterday, being an adult is just not all it’s cracked up to be.<\/p>\n

\n

Lawd knows what my entry for C<\/b><\/span> will end up being. Maybe cookies, since I’m apparently regressing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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