So, it’s been a minute (or more like 311,040 at the time of this writing, but who’s counting?) since I last published a blog post. In my previous life (before becoming a Sick Person), I could multi-task like nobody’s business. Not anymore. If I write this blog post, it means I cannot do anything else, even if I need to do it.
And then, there’s the issue of… getting stuck. The longer I don’t write anything, the harder it gets to write something. Even with words rattling around my head. Even with 29 posts in my drafts folder, and who knows how many ideas in my email.
Plus, the feeling that what I write should mean something. The pressure on myself for it to be worthwhile, hopeful, inspiring, helpful, or all of the above. Even tho I know it’s silly; I never know who my words will touch, or how, and not sharing them means that the person who needs them never gets to read them.
And since I published #MEAwareness: Guest Post on Life with ME, I’ve had to focus on other things, which took all my attention and limited energy. Including things I used to take for granted as a “healthie”, like going to the bathroom. And doing laundry. And creating a grocery list. And, ya know, walking to the kitchen. Or showering. Or scooping the kitty litter.
Not to mention things related to being a spoonie: finding and going to a new doctor, and researching meds, and trying to puzzle out if a new symptom is a medication side effect, just part of my ME, or a new illness altogether.
It’s exhausting, y’all.
But I’m still here. Still fighting. Still trying to be kind, and to be helpful to other patients, and to do everything I physically can for myself and my hubby. And to find joy in small things.
Like the plant I wrote about in the post, there’s always hope, I’m still growing. And so can you.
Before you go:
I’ve never had ads on my blog, and never wanted them, but it’s expensive to have a website, what with the domain registration & hosting fees. And I haven’t been able to work in four years, and I get no disability benefits – and my medications alone cost $300 a month!
If you found this post useful or inspiring, please consider supporting me and my ramblings:
- with a $3 tip at ko-fi.com/dsavannah
- by donating via paypal
- or sending me something from my Amazon wishlist.
Your support keeps me going, even in tough times. Thank you for stopping by my blog.
Also, if you would like to help terribly ill
#MEcfs patients like me, now through 11/27, donations to SolveMECFSInitiative and the Open Medicine Foundation will be tripled! Donate online with a credit card, giftcard, or paypal! (OMF even accepts bitcoin!)