Hello? Is this thing on?

So, it’s been a minute (or more like 311,040 at the time of this writing, but who’s counting?) since I last published a blog post. In my previous life (before becoming a Sick Person), I could multi-task like nobody’s business. Not anymore. If I write this blog post, it means I cannot do anything else, even if I need to do it.

And then, there’s the issue of… getting stuck. The longer I don’t write anything, the harder it gets to write something. Even with words rattling around my head. Even with 29 posts in my drafts folder, and who knows how many ideas in my email.

Plus, the feeling that what I write should mean something. The pressure on myself for it to be worthwhile, hopeful, inspiring, helpful, or all of the above. Even tho I know it’s silly; I never know who my words will touch, or how, and not sharing them means that the person who needs them never gets to read them.

And since I published #MEAwareness: Guest Post on Life with ME, I’ve had to focus on other things, which took all my attention and limited energy. Including things I used to take for granted as a “healthie”, like going to the bathroom. And doing laundry. And creating a grocery list. And, ya know, walking to the kitchen. Or showering. Or scooping the kitty litter.

Not to mention things related to being a spoonie: finding and going to a new doctor, and researching meds, and trying to puzzle out if a new symptom is a medication side effect, just part of my ME, or a new illness altogether.

It’s exhausting, y’all.

But I’m still here. Still fighting. Still trying to be kind, and to be helpful to other patients, and to do everything I physically can for myself and my hubby. And to find joy in small things.

Like the plant I wrote about in the post, there’s always hope, I’m still growing. And so can you.

Hope Plant 03292018

The stalk that previously had no leaves had three by March 29! Note the one unfurling in the middle!

Hope Plant 04232018

By April 23, the stalk had four leaves!

Hope Plant 09082018

By Sept 8, the stalk had sprouted another leaf. I just love how tightly it is curled up as it grows.

Hope Plant 11142018

By this Wednesday, Nov 14, that stalk had grown *eight* leaves. And in the few days since I took that picture, another leaf has begun to grow (bottom left). And that leaf poking out proudly above the pot? Well, it came out of nothing. Just poked its little head out of the dirt, and grew and grew. Even in the dismal, grey conditions we are having right now.

Before you go:

I’ve never had ads on my blog, and never wanted them, but it’s expensive to have a website, what with the domain registration & hosting fees. And I haven’t been able to work in four years, and I get no disability benefits – and my medications alone cost me over $300 a month!

If you found this post useful or inspiring, please consider supporting me and my ramblings:

Your support keeps me going, even in tough times. Thank you for stopping by my blog.

Also, if you would like to help terribly ill patients like me, now through 11/27, donations to SolveMECFSInitiative and the Open Medicine Foundation will be tripled! Donate online with a credit card, giftcard, or paypal! (OMF even accepts bitcoin!)

More ramblings / other posts you might want to read...


About dSavannah

~ #disabled #spoonie fighting numerous, chronic, painful #InvisibleIllnesses ~ also #wife #feminist #ally #advocate #papyrophiliac #DogCatTurtleWrangler
This entry was posted in #dSavannahDefects, chronicillness, disability, hard work, health, illness, insomnia, making a difference, perseverance. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Hello? Is this thing on?

  1. Elaine LeDoux says:

    Be your plant!!! You can do it. This is a very difficult time here….my dear friend and right across the street neighbor is down to 90 lbs….stage 4 lung cancer all through her body. I am doing everything I can to help her out. She’s getting chemo at Moffitt Cancer Center and then coming home. I am trying to be positive and keep her positive but it’s getting harder. She is in terrible pain from the bone cancer. I know you understand pain and hope you have less and less. As soon as I can I will try to donate to your blog, right now I’m on overload between Christmas, Hanukkah and of course my Cheryl across the street. Love you!

    • dSavannah dSavannah says:

      I’m so sorry to hear about your friend Cheryl. :( You are a good friend to help her (and me). It’s inhumane they are keeping patients in pain instead of giving them relief. Sending her and you both love and light.

  2. Elaine LeDoux says:

    By the way I sent you a cup of coffee…..with love

  3. mirymom says:

    Glad to see you poking your head up! I sent you a cuppa too, hope the virtual “caffeine” is a boost.

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