Category Archives: shining a light

#dSavannahDefects – S is for…

S

My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. … spoon theory The spoon theory was created by Christine Miserandino, who suffers from lupus (an autoimmune disorder), and she writes about it on her site butyoudontlooksick.com. (Please go read how she came up with the theory.) A lot of people with chronic illnesses have connected with and embraced this theory, so much so that we call ourselves “spoonies”. As she said, “I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, hell, shining a light, the dark places | 9 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – L is for…

L

Hi. I’m dSavannah. A comment from a new reader made me realize that I can’t assume (you know what happens to you and me when we do that!) that visitors know my theme or purpose for completing the #AtoZChallenge. So, if you are a new visitor to my blog, my theme this year for the challenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. … letting go & lessons I am combining these topics because they are so intertwined. (An aside, my hands are being so hurty and stupid today. I can’t type. And my perfectionism won’t let me leave typos, not even for the WordPress spell checker to catch. {Funny – it says WordPress … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, fear, giving to others, making a difference, music, shining a light, the dark places | 10 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – H is for…

H

dSavannah note: I actually wrote this post some months ago but never published it (for no apparent reason), and found it when preparing for the #AtoZChallenge. Thought it was appropriate for my theme. Also, ironically (or is it coincidentally? or both?) I have a whopper of a headache today as I finish this up and publish it. One of the wonderful things about me (that’s sarcasm, by the way) is that I’m a little barometer. If there’s a storm front coming in, I get a headache, and those often turn into migraines (which I’ll write about for M.) (And no idea why I’ve got this particular headache. The radar doesn’t show anything suspicious…) I also want to point out that I do know that not … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, dreams, health, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places | 26 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – F is for…

F

…fatigue If I need to quickly define my health issues, I say I have “chronic fatigue and chronic pain”. (Cuz even *I* can’t remember all 20-something of my diagnoses.) As I described depression as being sad times 1,000, fatigue is being tired times 1,000. Times a million. I just ran across a site called “Mis-Treated“, about a woman’s search for answers to health problems. As I’ve clicked and clicked and read a bunch of posts, I’m mentally jumping up and down (cuz physically jumping up and down would hurt). She is writing about ME. About MY Story. About dealing with being chronically ill and disabled. She wrote a very cogent post, “Five Reasons Fatigue Isn’t Like Normal Tiredness (Proving Most People Don’t Get It)“. And … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, abuse, childhood, community, depression, family, friends, giving to others, health, history, inspiration, making a difference, mental illness, quotes, shining a light, the dark places | 16 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – E is for…

E

… Epstein Barr Virus I used to speak to someone quite regularly on the phone, and every time they asked how I was, I’d reply “I’m tired”. A response they didn’t really like, and complained about. “Why are you always tired?” they’d ask. I never had an answer. I really wish I did, but I didn’t. “I work too hard”, “I have insomnia”, and the like didn’t seem to be satisfactory answers. And oddly, being tired all the time feels like a moral failing. When it’s really my body itself that is failing. And then, last year I found out: I have Chronic Epstein Barr Virus (EBV). It explains everything. Okay, not everything, but a lot. Mostly why I’m tired all the time. EBV is an … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, community, depression, giving to others, health, illness, learning, shining a light | 16 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – D is for…

D

… depression I suffer from depression. It is a liar, that depression, but its words ring true. It is a dark hole I find myself in, a hole that I often have a difficult time escaping. It is a heavy weight on my chest. It is the words ‘you’re worthless’ whispered to me in the dark, in the daylight. It is the feeling of intense lethargy, of being unable to move, nor really wanting to. Depression goes far beyond being sad about something. It is sadness times 1,000. Times a million. It doesn’t make logical sense, the depression. It can look at all the great things in your life and dismiss them. Tell you that you don’t deserve them. That it’s a fluke you have … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, books, depression, health, inspiration, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places | 20 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – C is for…

C

… child abuse April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and I am a child abuse survivor, so it’s only fitting I include this topic in my theme of dSavannah Defects. You may think that child abuse doesn’t happen any more, but it does. Often. All the time. And you may think that child abuse is perpetrated by strangers. But it’s not. More often than not, children are abused by people they know well: family members, neighbors, church friends. It can range from neglect to beatings to verbal abuse to sexual assault. And no matter its “type”, it is devastating and hurtful and causes long-term problems. Goddess, but this is difficult to write about. Child abuse is often perpetrated by victims. It cycles through generations. I … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, abuse, depression, evil, family, health, history, shining a light, the dark places, violence | 16 Comments