Category Archives: mental illness

#ChronicIllness: the worst job in the world

This photo of a photo is from my first "real" job out of college. When they didn

dSavannah note: This is another one of them there posts I wrote a while back and am just now publishing. Didn’t do much to it, either. Just added the photo and a few words here and there. And futzed with the formatting, cuz, perfectionism. Please forgive typos. My brain ain’t what it used to be. I have somehow managed to acquire the worst job ever, and I have held it exclusively for the past three+ years. To tell you just how awful this job is, consider this: It’s 24/7/365. No time off. Ever. No benefits. There is no pay; in fact, I have to spend money! Lots and lots of money! Having fun is a thing of the past. A social life is prohibited. Okay, … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light | 4 Comments

It’s not the forest … It’s the leaves

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New: Follow my blog on the app Bloglovin. You can also follow by putting your email address in the first box there on the right, and then see my new posts via the WordPress app or in your email. And, as always, please forgive any typos. If that title is too obtuse for you, I’ll put it another way: Being chronically ill sucks, make no mistake. Having chronic, unrelenting pain sucks as well. Being told by a specialist doctor (as I was recently) that I’m in the top 1% of severe fibromyalgia cases and that I’m never going to get better is also awful. But what wears me down, bit by bit, is the rest of it, the small things: the leaves, if you will. … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, science, shining a light, the dark places, wishes | 2 Comments

My thoughts on Lady Gaga’s documentary & chronic illness

Lady Gaga at a doctor

dSavannah note: Yes, this is my first post in a long time. Yes, there are probably errors. Everything sounds great in my head, and then I go to write it out, and my brain drops out and my eyes cross and my back spasms and the words turn to mush. (A fun benefit of having a chronic illness.) I’ll admit: I’ve never really been a fan of Lady Gaga. I’ve never actively disliked her either, but I never really cared for her or her crazy persona with the wild outfits and wigs, or her pop music (I’m more a blues, alternative, rock – and occasionally rap – girl). But the chronic illness community has been talking about Lady Gaga’s documentary, now streaming on Netflix, and … Continue reading

Posted in artist, depression, dreams, fear, feminism, hard work, health, illness, mental illness, music | 8 Comments

So this is embarrassing…

Since best practices say you should have photos for your blog posts, and no one wants to see photos of me crying, I

Obviously I haven’t written anything on my blog for a long, long time. (Except in my head… But since brainwave to blog technology doesn’t exist yet, I guess it doesn’t count…) For reasons, mostly my health. And pain. And brain fog. But, mainly, last August I got a temporary, part-time, work-from-home job. The pay was terrible, but it was something, which was better than what I’d been making before, which was zero. And it was totally something I could do, having done it before, and also generally liking the basic concept of the job. (And yes, I’m being vague about it.) Unfortunately, every ounce of energy I had, and every spoon I possessed (and then some), went toward me doing this job. (Even a healthy … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, hard work, health, hell, illness, memory, mental illness | 7 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – X is for…

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My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. Down to our last letters! Whew! … X-tras So, yeah. I’m kinda cheating on today’s letter, but that’s my prerogative as a writer. And blogger. So today is for “x-tras” that didn’t make it into other posts, for whatever reason. (Either I thought of it later, or I was tired that day, or whatever. Or it’s appropriate for today.) A lot of topics fit within my theme, but I didn’t get around to writing about them. I gotta be honest. This writing every day like this and answering comments is tiring. And I stopped visiting other blogs and tweeting them … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, abuse, age, childhood, depression, family, giving to others, health, history, learning, making a difference, memory, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – W is for…

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My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. And only three letters left… … wisdom teeth So. I have all of my wisdom teeth, which is odd, for a woman of 45 years. Most people have their wisdom teeth taken out when they are young, generally because there isn’t room in their mouth for them. Not me. I have plenty of room. My former hygienist just loved saying how I “have a big mouth”. Seriously. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. But now, I need to have my wisdom teeth out, and of course, it’s not the easy thing it is for most people. Heck, my … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, fear, health, mental illness | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – P is for…

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My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. … paperwork The absolute bane of my existence as a Sick Person is … paperwork. You’d probably guess something else, like, being in pain or the anti-mold diet or medications, or simply being sick, but not. It’s the {insert expletive} paperwork I have to fill out. Every.single.doctor has their own set. And then my insurance company keeps sending me stupid surveys to complete. And as I (possibly) mentioned in another post, I created a spreadsheet to keep up with the meds I have to take (and I save each week’s completed piece of paper), and a document listing all my … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, hard work, health, illness, making a difference, mental illness | 9 Comments