Category Archives: insomnia

Diving deep into mental illness

Challenger Deep

Hi. My name is dSavannah and I suffer from mental illness. Specifically, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD tendencies. I’ve talked about my issues before, but I felt compelled to address them again in a specific blog post, because I just finished reading Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a member of the Amazon Vine program, which means I get to pick out books (and other items) to review. And Challenger Deep was available. BUT… I almost didn’t order it, based on the description: “A captivating novel about mental illness that lingers long beyond the last page, Challenger Deep is a heartfelt tour de force.” Reason being, I fight with my own demons, and I find it difficult to read things that contribute to … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, age, childhood, community, depression, dreams, family, fear, giving to others, health, hell, illness, insomnia, making a difference, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 6 Comments

State of my health, or What #InvisibleIllness is like

No filter. No makeup. No sleep. In my studio. Middle of the night, thanks to insomnia. I don

Since I’ve blogged and tweeted and Facebooked, etc., about my struggles with my health, and since I’ve asked for donations to help pay for all my tests and meds and doctors not covered by insurance (and they all aren’t), I thought I should give an update. And (deep breath), it’s a long one. I’ve been working on this post for days, and according to WordPress, I’ve made 61 revisions. So, I’m just gonna finish this shortly and send it out in the world, come what may. Now, some people might think that I’m sharing way too much information, and I’ll admit: it is a lot. But there are a couple reasons I’m doing this. First, if you are suffering emotionally or physically, or both, I … Continue reading

Posted in depression, health, illness, insomnia, learning, mental illness | Leave a comment

Illness and Language


As a Sick Person (and yes, those capitols are intentional), I spend most of my days doing… well, not much. I go to my many doctors, practically every day of the week. I read (when I can concentrate), I watch Netflix (because it at least distracts my brain from thinking about the pain and my health issues), I sleep (when I can), I cry (which is often). I also think. Which as we all know, is a super-bad idea. Ha ha. Anyway, one of the things that has occurred to me, as I’ve filled out what feels like thousands of New Patient Forms for as many doctors, is they all ask you to describe your symptoms using, well, language. As we all know, language is … Continue reading

Posted in depression, health, hell, illness, insomnia, learning, mental illness, the dark places | 2 Comments


Photo by me.

I can imagine that turning into a butterfly hurts. Not so much the cocooning – the wrapping yourself up in a warm dark place – But waking, blinking and disoriented, in a different state – every fundamental thing about you transformed – then the struggle to be released from where you put yourself. The unfolding of new, damp wings. The flexing of muscles you didn’t know you had. But Oh! The glory of that first flight – bird song in your ears sun in your face the horizon vast and welcoming. (20 March 2004; © D. Savannah George) I wrote that poem well over a decade ago, never expecting that I myself might one day feel like I am struggling to become a beautiful butterfly. … Continue reading

Posted in art, childhood, depression, dreams, fear, hard work, health, illness, insomnia, inspiration, making a difference, mental illness, nature, perseverance, photography, shining a light | 4 Comments

More thoughts on insomnia…


First of all, thank you to everyone who has sent me messages, commented on this post or the post on FB, etc. I now have a list of things to research as I get the energy. The biggest suggestion seems to be acupuncture… and it sucks that it isn’t covered by my insurance. (I’m discovering that if something might actually help, it’s not covered.) Luckily, my doctor’s practice has an acupuncturist on site, and hopefully will be willing to work with me on payment. (If not, I’ll search for another solution.) So, why am I writing about insomnia again? Because, of course, I’m suffering it again after being up all night last night, because I fell asleep around 1pm and slept til bedtime – when … Continue reading

Posted in depression, giving to others, health, hell, illness, insomnia, learning, making a difference, mental illness | Leave a comment

Yet another sleepless night…

The storm on my wedding day.

This sucks. This really really sucks. This is making me insane. Insaner. More insane. What is *this*? It’s my health. Specifically, my inability to sleep. And most specifically, my back. My back which feels like a migraine, or a tornado, or a cyclone, or some other horrible act of nature has taken up residence and refuses to leave. Not for nothing. Not for a $70 prescription pain cream, not for 1/2 a tube of $8 arnica, not for $45 prescription pain meds, or OTC pain pills, or heavy duty prescription painkillers. Not for epsom salt baths, or massages from hubs (tho they knock it back a bit), or visits to the chiropractor (ditto; but I can’t afford to go see him every day). I’ve now … Continue reading

Posted in depression, health, illness, insomnia | 7 Comments

K is for…


…Kaleidoscope Isn’t that a fabulous word? Fun to say, hard to spell, but fabulous? It sounds just like what it is: a way to see beautiful patterns thanks to reflections off mirrors. More on that in a bit… first, why I’m two days late writing this (and the next two) post(s). In my D post, I talked about my health issues. Over the weekend, I stupidly did “normal” stuff (grocery shopping, unpacking some boxes)… and I shouldn’t have. Currently, any sort of “extra” physical activity, no matter how good I’m feeling at the moment, ends up causing me extreme pain. This extreme pain – which is *all over* my body – leads to horrible insomnia, which leads to sleep deprivation… and if you’ve never experienced … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2015, art, depression, insomnia, joy | 4 Comments