Category Archives: insomnia

Hello? Is this thing on?

Hope Plant 03292018

So, it’s been a minute (or more like 311,040 at the time of this writing, but who’s counting?) since I last published a blog post. In my previous life (before becoming a Sick Person), I could multi-task like nobody’s business. Not anymore. If I write this blog post, it means I cannot do anything else, even if I need to do it. And then, there’s the issue of… getting stuck. The longer I don’t write anything, the harder it gets to write something. Even with words rattling around my head. Even with 29 posts in my drafts folder, and who knows how many ideas in my email. Plus, the feeling that what I write should mean something. The pressure on myself for it to be … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, chronicillness, disability, hard work, health, illness, insomnia, making a difference, perseverance | 6 Comments

#MEcfs Awareness – and here’s what I’m missing

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So, I’ve written about my chronic illnesses a lot. I even spent the entire last #AtoZChallenge (2016) writing about it, under the theme “dSavannah Defects” (aka things that are wrong with me), a category I’ve continued to use because, well, I like the name. And I’ve spent the past week frantically tweeting and posting a BUNCH of articles & whatnot this week for #MEAwareness Month, and for the #MillionsMissing events that will be held today, this Saturday, May 12. (And a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who has commented, liked, shared, messaged me, donated, and in some way encouraged me in this effort.) But… I may not have spelled out for you exactly, in all its vulnerable detail, how it effects me (or is “affects”? … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, advocacy, chronicillness, community, depression, disability, giving to others, hard work, illness, insomnia, learning, making a difference, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 4 Comments

It’s #MEcfs Awareness Month – and please act!

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May is Awareness Month for a lot of illnesses, such as Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) / Lou Gehrig’s disease, Lupus, and Mental Health. Last month was Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) Awareness Month, which Charis Hill wrote about extensively. (And I never managed to. Sorry.) But this month is awareness for my primary illness, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), also known by the terrible moniker chronic fatigue syndrome. And May 12th specifically is International Awareness Day for Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases (CIND) (per the May 12th International Awareness Day website), and International ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia¬†Awareness Day. (dSavannah note: my brain does NOT want to work today {on May 5, which is when I originally started this post}. Writing this is like trying to sludge through the grimiest, stickiest … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, advocacy, chronicillness, community, disability, family, giving to others, hard work, health, illness, insomnia, learning, making a difference, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 6 Comments

there’s always hope

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I’m starting this post at 5am. I can’t sleep because I’m in a lot of pain. I keep getting out of bed to ice the most troublesome areas – my neck, my lower back, my shoulders, and most especially that bit of my back that is just below my left arm and where a bunch of muscles connect my arm and my shoulders and my neck. I have no idea what that bit of anatomy is called, but it hurts like a very big ~expletive~, and is causing pain across my back and up my neck, my arm to hurt all the way down, and my fingers to go numb and tingly, all at the same time. I don’t have any “extra” pain meds I … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, giving to others, hell, illness, insomnia, making a difference, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 4 Comments

imagining pain away (or, it don’t work that way)

Pain is all about waiting. Waiting for it to stop. Waiting for medication to work. Waiting to see a doctor. Waiting for others to believe you. Waiting for a future cure.

dSavannah note: I started this post – well, I can’t remember when – and I’ve been working on it ever since. Even if it’s not quite “ready”, and I can’t think of a better headline, I’m just gonna publish it… I’m sick of looking at it. And I’d like to cross at least one thing off my massive to-do list. (Which never ever ends. Being a Sick Person is harder work than you’d imagine.) I had a doctor tell me that he was able to have a dental procedure with no novocaine because he imagined he was on a beach with storm clouds out on the horizon. And that he concentrated on the clouds. And thus he had no pain. He didn’t say it explicitly, … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, advocacy, chronicillness, depression, giving to others, health, illness, insomnia, making a difference, science, shining a light, the dark places | 7 Comments

#ChronicIllness: the worst job in the world

This photo of a photo is from my first "real" job out of college. When they didn

dSavannah note: This is another one of them there posts I wrote a while back and am just now publishing. Didn’t do much to it, either. Just added the photo and a few words here and there. And futzed with the formatting, cuz, perfectionism. Please forgive typos. My brain ain’t what it used to be. I have somehow managed to acquire the worst job ever, and I have held it exclusively for the past three+ years. To tell you just how awful this job is, consider this: It’s 24/7/365. No time off. Ever. No benefits. There is no pay; in fact, I have to spend money! Lots and lots of money! Having fun is a thing of the past. A social life is prohibited. Okay, … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light | 6 Comments

It’s not the forest … It’s the leaves

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New: Follow my blog on the app Bloglovin. You can also follow by putting your email address in the first box there on the right, and then see my new posts via the WordPress app or in your email. And, as always, please forgive any typos. If that title is too obtuse for you, I’ll put it another way: Being chronically ill sucks, make no mistake. Having chronic, unrelenting pain sucks as well. Being told by a specialist doctor (as I was recently) that I’m in the top 1% of severe fibromyalgia cases and that I’m never going to get better is also awful. But what wears me down, bit by bit, is the rest of it, the small things: the leaves, if you will. … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, science, shining a light, the dark places, wishes | 2 Comments