Category Archives: illness

#ChronicIllness: the worst job in the world

This photo of a photo is from my first "real" job out of college. When they didn

dSavannah note: This is another one of them there posts I wrote a while back and am just now publishing. Didn’t do much to it, either. Just added the photo and a few words here and there. And futzed with the formatting, cuz, perfectionism. Please forgive typos. My brain ain’t what it used to be. I have somehow managed to acquire the worst job ever, and I have held it exclusively for the past three+ years. To tell you just how awful this job is, consider this: It’s 24/7/365. No time off. Ever. No benefits. There is no pay; in fact, I have to spend money! Lots and lots of money! Having fun is a thing of the past. A social life is prohibited. Okay, … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light | 4 Comments

It’s not the forest … It’s the leaves

dsavannah_defects_noballs

New: Follow my blog on the app Bloglovin. You can also follow by putting your email address in the first box there on the right, and then see my new posts via the WordPress app or in your email. And, as always, please forgive any typos. If that title is too obtuse for you, I’ll put it another way: Being chronically ill sucks, make no mistake. Having chronic, unrelenting pain sucks as well. Being told by a specialist doctor (as I was recently) that I’m in the top 1% of severe fibromyalgia cases and that I’m never going to get better is also awful. But what wears me down, bit by bit, is the rest of it, the small things: the leaves, if you will. … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, health, illness, insomnia, mental illness, perseverance, science, shining a light, the dark places, wishes | 2 Comments

Me too

me_too

dSavannah note: Trigger Warning: sexual harassment, assault, abuse. These words are in response to the stories that broke very recently regarding a studio head and numerous women who claim he sexually harassed and/or abused them. I will not speak his name. But I honor all of the women for coming forward and speaking out. I’m almost afraid of posting this, but with #MeToo trending right now, I am setting aside my innate fear, and publishing what I felt compelled to write last night (in the middle of the night. Instead of sleeping. The voices in my head wouldn’t shut up until I did). I am adding my voice to the cacophony, in the hopes things might change. #MeToo I deluded myself for years that I’d … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, depression, evil, hell, history, illness, making a difference, shining a light, the dark places, violence | 6 Comments

My thoughts on Lady Gaga’s documentary & chronic illness

Lady Gaga at a doctor

dSavannah note: Yes, this is my first post in a long time. Yes, there are probably errors. Everything sounds great in my head, and then I go to write it out, and my brain drops out and my eyes cross and my back spasms and the words turn to mush. (A fun benefit of having a chronic illness.) I’ll admit: I’ve never really been a fan of Lady Gaga. I’ve never actively disliked her either, but I never really cared for her or her crazy persona with the wild outfits and wigs, or her pop music (I’m more a blues, alternative, rock – and occasionally rap – girl). But the chronic illness community has been talking about Lady Gaga’s documentary, now streaming on Netflix, and … Continue reading

Posted in artist, depression, dreams, fear, feminism, hard work, health, illness, mental illness, music | 8 Comments

So this is embarrassing…

Since best practices say you should have photos for your blog posts, and no one wants to see photos of me crying, I

Obviously I haven’t written anything on my blog for a long, long time. (Except in my head… But since brainwave to blog technology doesn’t exist yet, I guess it doesn’t count…) For reasons, mostly my health. And pain. And brain fog. But, mainly, last August I got a temporary, part-time, work-from-home job. The pay was terrible, but it was something, which was better than what I’d been making before, which was zero. And it was totally something I could do, having done it before, and also generally liking the basic concept of the job. (And yes, I’m being vague about it.) Unfortunately, every ounce of energy I had, and every spoon I possessed (and then some), went toward me doing this job. (Even a healthy … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, hard work, health, hell, illness, memory, mental illness | 7 Comments

All I can do is cry…

Chelsea

I wanted to write a post about having gratitude even in the midst of being a Sick Person, but then death smacked me upside the head a few days ago, and then social media flooded with stories of the woman attacked and sexually assaulted by the Stanford student (whose name I refuse to speak), and the lenient sentence he got, and … I just can’t. All I can do is cry. I cry for the victim of that horrible crime, even as I applaud ‘Emily Doe’s’ courage in writing and reading her Victim Statement, and sharing it with the world. It is hard to read. (But I hope you do.) It makes me cry more. But it is also hopeful. That maybe what she went … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, community, depression, evil, family, friends, giving to others, hell, illness, love, making a difference, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places, violence | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – Y is for…

Y

My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. One letter to go… … yawn Seriously, peoples. I am exhausted. And I could NOT for the LIFE of me think of a topic for “Y”. Even The Mighty, the site I have spoken of before that features articles on a whole host of #InvisibleIllnesses, doesn’t even have a disease that starts with “Y”. (Their list of All Conditions A-Z ends with “W”.) I told one of my writing/editing buddies that fact, and he (Chris Votey) suggested yawn. And I’m totally using it. (Clearly.) Did y’all know that a yawn does not actually indicate boredom? That it means that you … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, health, illness, learning | 10 Comments