Category Archives: hell

Me too

me_too

dSavannah note: Trigger Warning: sexual harassment, assault, abuse. These words are in response to the stories that broke very recently regarding a studio head and numerous women who claim he sexually harassed and/or abused them. I will not speak his name. But I honor all of the women for coming forward and speaking out. I’m almost afraid of posting this, but with #MeToo trending right now, I am setting aside my innate fear, and publishing what I felt compelled to write last night (in the middle of the night. Instead of sleeping. The voices in my head wouldn’t shut up until I did). I am adding my voice to the cacophony, in the hopes things might change. #MeToo I deluded myself for years that I’d … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, depression, evil, hell, history, illness, making a difference, shining a light, the dark places, violence | 6 Comments

The forgotten heroes…

dadinuniform

dSavannah note: So, the last time I had a ‘spate’ of blogging was in April (APRIL!), due to my chronic illnesses and brain fog and depression, oh my. But I actually wrote {runs to check} erm, 19 (really?!? really!) drafts, so I’m gonna try to semi-polish them up (telling my perfectionism to take a hike) and go ahead and publish them. In no particular order. So here’s the first. Likely errors included. Mike Rowe (of Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs” fame) has a new series on Facebook (the platform is apparently getting into developing content now; the next step for them, I guess) called “Returning the Favor“. The premise is similar to the one for “Dirty Jobs” – except instead of finding people doing the truly … Continue reading

Posted in community, depression, dreams, family, giving to others, hard work, hell, history, inspiration, learning, making a difference, opportunity, passion, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | Leave a comment

So this is embarrassing…

Since best practices say you should have photos for your blog posts, and no one wants to see photos of me crying, I

Obviously I haven’t written anything on my blog for a long, long time. (Except in my head… But since brainwave to blog technology doesn’t exist yet, I guess it doesn’t count…) For reasons, mostly my health. And pain. And brain fog. But, mainly, last August I got a temporary, part-time, work-from-home job. The pay was terrible, but it was something, which was better than what I’d been making before, which was zero. And it was totally something I could do, having done it before, and also generally liking the basic concept of the job. (And yes, I’m being vague about it.) Unfortunately, every ounce of energy I had, and every spoon I possessed (and then some), went toward me doing this job. (Even a healthy … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, depression, hard work, health, hell, illness, memory, mental illness | 7 Comments

All I can do is cry…

Chelsea

I wanted to write a post about having gratitude even in the midst of being a Sick Person, but then death smacked me upside the head a few days ago, and then social media flooded with stories of the woman attacked and sexually assaulted by the Stanford student (whose name I refuse to speak), and the lenient sentence he got, and … I just can’t. All I can do is cry. I cry for the victim of that horrible crime, even as I applaud ‘Emily Doe’s’ courage in writing and reading her Victim Statement, and sharing it with the world. It is hard to read. (But I hope you do.) It makes me cry more. But it is also hopeful. That maybe what she went … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, community, depression, evil, family, friends, giving to others, hell, illness, love, making a difference, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places, violence | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – S is for…

S

My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. … spoon theory The spoon theory was created by Christine Miserandino, who suffers from lupus (an autoimmune disorder), and she writes about it on her site butyoudontlooksick.com. (Please go read how she came up with the theory.) A lot of people with chronic illnesses have connected with and embraced this theory, so much so that we call ourselves “spoonies”. As she said, “I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, hell, shining a light, the dark places | 9 Comments

Diving deep into mental illness

Challenger Deep

Hi. My name is dSavannah and I suffer from mental illness. Specifically, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD tendencies. I’ve talked about my issues before, but I felt compelled to address them again in a specific blog post, because I just finished reading Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a member of the Amazon Vine program, which means I get to pick out books (and other items) to review. And Challenger Deep was available. BUT… I almost didn’t order it, based on the description: “A captivating novel about mental illness that lingers long beyond the last page, Challenger Deep is a heartfelt tour de force.” Reason being, I fight with my own demons, and I find it difficult to read things that contribute to … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, age, childhood, community, depression, dreams, family, fear, giving to others, health, hell, illness, insomnia, making a difference, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 6 Comments

Book Launch: Naked in Public

staci_happy

In the early early days of my blog (December 2012), children’s author Christi Zellerhoff answered The Questions. Well, apparently she has kept up with my ramblings (isn’t that nice?) and contacted me late last month to see if I’d be willing to feature her a book recently published by her younger sister, Staci Sprout. She (Christi) said a lot of flattering things, so of course I said yes. (Ha ha.) Actually, I said yes because of the subject matter. While Christi’s book is for kids, Staci’s is very much for grown-ups. And it looks at a difficult subject matter that not a lot of people would be willing to write about, much less write about and publish, much less want to publicize: sexual addiction. I … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, author, book launch, books, dreams, editing, family, fear, giving to others, hell, inspiration, making a difference, memoir, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places, The Questions, writershelpingwriters, writing | Leave a comment