Category Archives: fear

Shining a Light: living with depression

Two cats curled up on a black and white blanket. Top is a tabby, and bottom is a dark brown and orange calico.

dSavannah note: Here is the second installment in my “Publish-A-Blog-Post-The-15th-of-Every-Month-In-2019″ Goal. THANK YOU! for reading. There are tons of wonderful blogs out there, and I appreciate everyone who reads mine. (Oh, and a million thank yous to the people who sent me things off my wishlist last month.) The good news (for me regarding meeting that goal) is that I have a bunch of drafts in my WordPress account (about 30?), and a few more in my email (no idea on the number), so I just had to go through the drafts and pick one that spoke to me (and was more than just a few random sentences). This is one of those posts. Apparently, I started this last January (2018), but the message are … Continue reading

Posted in #dSavannahDefects, chronicillness, depression, fear, giving to others, hell, illness, making a difference, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places | 6 Comments

My thoughts on Lady Gaga’s documentary & chronic illness

Lady Gaga at a doctor

dSavannah note: Yes, this is my first post in a long time. Yes, there are probably errors. Everything sounds great in my head, and then I go to write it out, and my brain drops out and my eyes cross and my back spasms and the words turn to mush. (A fun benefit of having a chronic illness.) I’ll admit: I’ve never really been a fan of Lady Gaga. I’ve never actively disliked her either, but I never really cared for her or her crazy persona with the wild outfits and wigs, or her pop music (I’m more a blues, alternative, rock – and occasionally rap – girl). But the chronic illness community has been talking about Lady Gaga’s documentary, now streaming on Netflix, and … Continue reading

Posted in artist, depression, dreams, fear, feminism, hard work, health, illness, mental illness, music | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – W is for…

W

My theme this year for the #AtoZchallenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. And only three letters left… … wisdom teeth So. I have all of my wisdom teeth, which is odd, for a woman of 45 years. Most people have their wisdom teeth taken out when they are young, generally because there isn’t room in their mouth for them. Not me. I have plenty of room. My former hygienist just loved saying how I “have a big mouth”. Seriously. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. But now, I need to have my wisdom teeth out, and of course, it’s not the easy thing it is for most people. Heck, my … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, fear, health, mental illness | 8 Comments

#dSavannahDefects – L is for…

L

Hi. I’m dSavannah. A comment from a new reader made me realize that I can’t assume (you know what happens to you and me when we do that!) that visitors know my theme or purpose for completing the #AtoZChallenge. So, if you are a new visitor to my blog, my theme this year for the challenge is #dSavannahDefects, aka “What’s it’s like dealing with #InvisibleIllnesses”. Or, in short, {some of} what’s wrong with me. … letting go & lessons I am combining these topics because they are so intertwined. (An aside, my hands are being so hurty and stupid today. I can’t type. And my perfectionism won’t let me leave typos, not even for the WordPress spell checker to catch. {Funny – it says WordPress … Continue reading

Posted in #AtoZchallenge2016, #dSavannahDefects, depression, fear, giving to others, making a difference, music, shining a light, the dark places | 10 Comments

#FictionFriday: (nothing)

nowords

No, “nothing” isn’t the name of today’s fiction piece. “Nothing” is what I have to share today. I think I mentioned that I have a lot of old stories on my old computer, and that I hadn’t converted them from AppleWorks to Word. Well, yesterday I got my old iBook4 down from the attic, and turns out that I had actually converted all of the stories, but hadn’t transferred them to my current computer. (I haven’t converted 189 poems, so that’s next.) So, I did the transfer and opened them up and read them and… like writers everywhere, decided that what I have previously written is crap. Wooden. No soul. No heart. Not worth sharing. (Tho I did kind of like a story that I … Continue reading

Posted in #FictionFriday, #IWSG, author, depression, fear, health, writing | 2 Comments

GNU Pat Conroy

Me with Pat Conroy, Sept. 2015. He was tickled I

On Friday, the world lost another great voice with the death of author Pat Conroy, who passed away of pancreatic cancer at age 70, just four weeks after his diagnosis. When I read the news about the cancer, I knew he wouldn’t last long. I wish I hadn’t been right. I was introduced to his work my freshman year at college. I was “dating” (using the term incredibly loosely) a guy who gave me a copy of The Prince of Tides. I don’t remember exactly what he said when he gave it to me; just something about how I should read it. You probably need to know several things about me before I tell you how the book impacted me, in order to understand the why. … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, age, author, books, childhood, depression, dreams, family, fear, fiction, history, making a difference, memory, mental illness, shining a light, the dark places | 4 Comments

Diving deep into mental illness

Challenger Deep

Hi. My name is dSavannah and I suffer from mental illness. Specifically, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD tendencies. I’ve talked about my issues before, but I felt compelled to address them again in a specific blog post, because I just finished reading Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a member of the Amazon Vine program, which means I get to pick out books (and other items) to review. And Challenger Deep was available. BUT… I almost didn’t order it, based on the description: “A captivating novel about mental illness that lingers long beyond the last page, Challenger Deep is a heartfelt tour de force.” Reason being, I fight with my own demons, and I find it difficult to read things that contribute to … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, age, childhood, community, depression, dreams, family, fear, giving to others, health, hell, illness, insomnia, making a difference, mental illness, perseverance, shining a light, the dark places | 6 Comments