Y is for…

…Yearning

YAll of us have these things we want desperately, that we yearn for. And of course, those yearnings change as we get older. Or not.

For instance, a yearning I have had since high school was to own a 1965 Fire Engine Red Mustang Convertible with White Top. I even had a chance to own one, but I passed it up. (A decision I totally regret.)

Yearnings that stay the same throughout our lives include the desire for love, warmth, food and comfort – tho we may not call some of them ‘yearnings’ until we don’t get them.

The yearning for love of course gets super-great when our hormones start rushing around in puberty, and we tend to think we’re worthless if we don’t have a million boyfriends. (And by ‘we’, of course I mean ‘me’. Ahem.) (Which I now know is silly. I mean, the couple of boyfriends I had back then weren’t even worth my time of day.)

Right now, I’m yearning, desperately, for sleep, and to get well. (Not getting enough sleep makes you crazy. Trust me on this. I’m running on the fumes of fumes right now, so if this post makes zero sense, that’s why.)

Other than following doctor’s orders, I’m torn: do I give up and trust the universe, or do I keep fighting?  I’m not sure.

Only I discern—
Infinite passion, and the pain
Of finite hearts that yearn.
~ Robert Browning


I launched my gofundme campaign, “Help me find *health* again“, two days ago, and I am ever so grateful for everyone who has donated and shared my story. I am blessed by your generosity. (Even if the vast majority of y’all have donated “anonymously”, as if you don’t want people to know ya love me. Ha!)

More ramblings / other posts you might want to read...

dSavannah

About dSavannah

~ #disabled #spoonie fighting numerous, chronic, painful #InvisibleIllnesses ~ also #wife #feminist #ally #advocate #papyrophiliac #DogCatTurtleWrangler
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