U is for…

…Ugly

“Ugly”

If you’re ugly, I am ugly too
In your eyes the sky’s a different blue
If you could see yourself like others do
You’d wish you were as beautiful as you
And I wish I was a camera sometimes
So I could take your picture with my mind
Put it in a frame for you to see
How beautiful you really are to me
Ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain’t no rainbow in the sky, when you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that’s ugly, yeah yeah yeah
Ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain’t no rainbow in the sky, when you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that’s ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain’t no cure that you can buy
When you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that’s ugly
So if you’re ugly, I’m ugly too
If you’re a nut, then I must be a screw
If you could see yourself the way I do
You’d wish you were as beautiful as you, yeah
I wish I was as beautiful as you
Writer(s): Elton John, Bernie Taupin, Jon Bon Jovi, Eric M. Bazilian
Destination Anywhere” (1997)
Copyright: Bon Jovi Publishing, Polygram Int. Publishing Inc., Human Boy Music, Hst Publishing Ltd., Rouge Booze Inc.

U

I was joking around with Gareth Young about what my “U” topic should be, and he gave me a list. The very first word on it was “Ugly”. And it made me immediately think of this song by Jon Bon Jovi, from the album “Destination Anywhere“, which I played over and over and over and over (so of course I know all the words). (Which, I should note: song lyrics are just poems set to music.)

Of course what resonated with me – then and now – is how many of us think we are ugly, when we are anything but. We compare ourselves to the ‘highlight reel’ of others – their best side as shown on social media and in person – and to completely falsified and ‘perfect’ images of people in the media. When probably, without makeup and lighting and photoshop and hairdressers and probably a whole bunch of other people, those supposedly “perfect” people look worse than you do on your worst day.

And the word itself, is, well, ugly. The hard ‘guh’ sound doesn’t help anything, for sure. Yet, it seems to have more power than, say, the words ‘pretty’ or ‘beautiful’. We believe “ugly” over “pretty”, any day.

For instance, my very first boyfriend (using the term extremely l o s e l y) broke up with me because he said I was ugly. Or that his friends said I was ugly. Or something like that. The word “ugly” was definitely used in relation to yours truly.

And in another instance, a good friend of mine remembers her aunt snapping at her “go wash your ugly face”. And even tho this friend is quite beautiful, the word “ugly” stuck to her, so that she can’t quite ever believe she’s pretty (and sadly, neither can I).  And chances are, that aunt just meant her face was dirty and needed to be washed, not that she looked ugly.

The dictionary.com definition of the word is pretty heart-wrenching, too:

  1. very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance
  2. disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable
  3. morally revolting

No wonder my friend and I were both so affected by being told that!

Amazingly, there is a woman who has embraced the moniker and hasn’t let it get her down (at least, not permanently). Lizzie Velasquez “weighs just around 60 pounds and is blind in one eye due to a rare and unnamed syndrome that doesn’t allow her to gain weight” (yahoo.com). As a teen, she was called the “World’s Ugliest Woman” on a YouTube video, and bullied incessantly. Instead of curling in a ball and crying herself to death, she “used that video to become an anti-bullying activist and motivational speaker”, and is the subject of a documentary, A Brave Heart. And I just love the tagline: “Bullying Stories are Famous for Having Victims, Not Heroes.”

So banish the word “ugly” from your vocabulary. You may feel like it some days, as Jon sings so eloquently, but you ain’t. You’re beautiful. And so am I.

More ramblings / other posts you might want to read...

dSavannah

About dSavannah

~ #disabled #spoonie fighting numerous, chronic, painful #InvisibleIllnesses ~ also #wife #feminist #ally #advocate #papyrophiliac #DogCatTurtleWrangler
This entry was posted in #AtoZchallenge2015, childhood, depression, inspiration, music, the dark places, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to U is for…

  1. Elaine LeDoux says:

    Wow! I am shocked I must admit, that you cannot see how strikingly beautiful you are. But not only are you visually beautiful…you are a beautiful soul and you can’t be beautiful looking and ugly inside! Right now I am feeling very upset by what is going on in Baltimore…a city I treasure as part of home. These people (and I use that term lightly) areUGLY…and it has nothing to do with their looks.

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